A recent forward about how it’s best to steer clear of people who hurt you got me thinking. In retrospective, I was wondering what life threw at me these past couple of years. Life hasn’t always been a piece of cake and it got me thinking about how I let the negativity of some people affect me more than I should have let them. There were some life lessons learned and some forgotten *I’m getting older you know! 😉 *. Of the many lessons learned, one that has stuck with me for a while now, one that I would like to share, is a lesson I learned in my (very!) late 20s *ok, I was just short of being 30 when realization struck!* and I wish I’d learned it sooner .
It’s OK to distance yourself from people who constantly affect your mental health.
It’s OK to not blame yourself for the things happening around you.
It’s always OK to put your well being ahead of everyone/everything else.
Putting yourself above all else does not equate to being selfish. Sometimes, you’ve just got to do it! Our already complex lives are made far worse by a few people and their falsities. For me, interactions or lack of them with certain “friends and family” drained me. I spent so much of my time wallowing about things they’ve said or ignored to tell me that this made me a disgruntled being. The only person affected by such situations was ME *and maybe my husband because he had to deal with the monstrosity that was me!*. When this became a constant, I eventually realized these are not the people I want around me. Sometimes distance can do more good than you can imagine. It’s hard at first but every morning you realize you care a little bit less.
Surrounding myself with people who bring out the best in me, the people I can learn and grow from became essential. It’s difficult letting go off people, especially if you’re a people person. We’re in a world of numbers – “I have X followers on Instagram” or “I have Y friends on Facebook” or “I have Z cousins, such a big family”! The number of people I have in my life was and is, at the end of the day, JUST a number. If having them in my life was detrimental, it was time to say bye-bye. The time to “mute”, “unfriend” or just hit the CTRL+SHIFT+DEL keys in my brain was here. Oh, and it was bitter sweet!
I’m writing this keeping a few of my friends and family in mind. It saddens me to think that they are no longer an essential part of my life. Of course, I haven’t been able to stay completely disjointed and they still do affect me, but the amount it affects me is little to nothing. It’s a fleeting (almost!) non-existential thought. Let go of people and things that drain your beautiful mind – I promise you, it’ll be an amazing feeling when you can shrug off those ill feelings without it touching you! I’m not perfect, I have my days of weakness – but I’ve grown and this is something I want to carry with me for the rest of forever!
Lots of Love,